sunday is not always sunny

I wrote this awhile ago but because of the title I felt like I had to wait till Sunday to post it.

Today I was hooked into watching a marathon of "The Fabulous Beekman Boys" on the planet green network.  They are pretty amazing.  Buying a farm to fulfill their dreams of growing their own food, making their own cheese, and almost anything else they want.  It's amazing that these two were able to make sacrifices to do what they love.  And it being a reality show, I know it does not show everything, but you can tell they have to work incredibly hard, and are succeeding in what they want to do.

So I was thinking today that I wish I could have the drive like them.  I have certain goals for my life, but they are not big dreams.  There are many things I want to do and wish I could experience, but they all seem so far out of reach.  I have ambition, like I want to finish grad school, buy a house, fix it up, maybe get married... But its the little things that really make me happy I feel like will never allow me to accomplish the things I want.  I find that I cannot keep my motivation up enough to actually see certain projects through.  Even going to school I have a motivation problem.  There are some days that I am go go go productive, then other days I have a list of what I want to do, but cant get off the couch to do them.  I really want to find something that inspires me so much that I will work even harder, and be motivated everyday to get the job done.  Since that opportunity hasn't presented itself yet maybe that says something about what I think I want out of life, like that I am not aiming in the right direction yet.

Being young is kind of sucky.  I don't have the traditional young adult life either.  I feel like most 20 somethings are out partying and making crazy choices, and here I am trying to plan the rest of my life, even though I really don't know anything.  But maybe there are only a few 20 somethings out there being crazy party animals (which is depicted a lot in reality shows) or taking the world by storm (and receiving extrordinary recognition becuase they are amazing), which may be why I have a warped sense of how I should be acting, or what the norm really is.

Learn more about the Beekman Boys at: http://planetgreen.discovery.com/tv/the-fabulous-beekman-boys/the-fabulous-beekman-boys.html