bad week

I have been doing extremely bad with my money this week.  And my hours at work got a huge cut, so I should be watching what I spend, but I just haven't been.  Sometimes I think I use shopping to make me feel better.  I justify it to myself that I am not buying worthless things.  I buy lots of stuff for crafts, stuff to better organize my room, stuff for others.  When I am not working I do not want to stay cooped up alone in the house so I go out to stores and buy things so that I have something to do.  Not the greatest plan, I am realizing.  There is great flaw in my logic, because working less means I shouldn't shop as much, but since I am not working I have more time to go out and shop.  Yeah, I am trying to reconcile these two facts.

But in some ways I do think that my hours getting cut is a kind of blessing because I have been meaning to try to find work elsewhere, and hopefully above min wage, but I didn't avidly look because I thought that I liked what I was doing.  And while I still like it, it does not help me professionally.  I really need some professional work experience to put on my resume to put me in a better position for a better paying job.  So this hour cut has given me the push in the butt I needed to vigilantly being my job search.  -- though I am very picky about my hours and where I want to work so I don't know how successful I will be in my job search.

jan 25

My TrUtH:

when I feel like I have a fulfilling life I don't need facebook.

=(

Jan 24

My truth...

           I like to be gluttonous all by myself.

:0

January 15th

My Truth...

              writing is my way of coping.

It is sure better to get things out than keep them bottled up inside.

Growing up

I used to think that I would never want to marry someone who already had kids, as if somehow that made them less worthy of my affection.  But recently I have been seeing how childish that view really is.  Its like I had an epiphany today. 

I am not sure where this distorted notion came from.  I just distinctively remember thinking that a child or children from a previous relationship would be a deal breaker when picking a guy. 

Thank god for growing up an learning the important things in life.  I can see through others that I was and still am naive about relationships and the things in life that should and should not be important. 

I am glad I am surrounded with people who teach me something new EVERYDAY.

January 13

My truth . . . I feel best when I am creating something.

Inspirational Quotes

Am I Qualified?

I am about to apply for a prestigious internship, and as I read the requirements I am very nervous that they will laugh at my application because I am young and have almost no experience.  If feels like there is pressure  just filling out an application.  I am somewhat of a perfectionist, and used to being good at what I do, so trying for such an amazing internship is really making me question my abilities.  It would be really cool to get an internship like this, but should I put this much time into something like this when my chances are so low?

I guess there is no harm in trying, but it will take up a lot of my time.  I don't really have a huge amount of other responsibilities, so there is no reason I shouldn't try.

How should I keep my confidence up though?

A 'new year' truth...

... hot glue is the new answer to everything ............. duck tape was so 2010.


I have been being crafty lately.  A little hot glue and scrap material creates many beautiful things.  These little accomplishments I made do console me a little when I am feeling alone.

New Year

I hope this is a good new year.  The truth is that I am feeling not so motivated in life.  I have school, and work, and those are the components of my life right now.  My job is fun most of the time, and I can't imagine ever leaving.  I work with kids and they are so much fun.  I want to stay there to watch them grow up, but there are so many other possibilities that I have, and I am so young that I cannot stay at this dead end job... It kind of breaks my heart.  As far as school it is not what I want to be doing with my life anymore, so there is some serious lack of motivation.  And as I try to find something else I would love more I am not interested in any other types of master's programs, but I don't just want to quit without a solid plan B.

One thing that I want this year is to become more social.  I am quite to home body, and have not really made many friends since leaving undergrad.  It makes me sad sometimes that my life is so small. 

I have decided I will make a big poster that reads: Be Optimistic; in hopes that it will inspire me everyday.